Piddling with Minutiae

Have I told you before that I want to be a blogger? I want the words that swim in my head to pour out through my fingers and into cyberspace. I want to share the "God-sightings" that surround me throughout my days. I want to ponder the mystery of the Gospel and dare to think that the Almighty has chosen to share His truth with me.

But so many times I let the stresses of this world ... the time-eaters and their meaningless distractions hold me back. I say I don't have time but what I mean is I don't make time. It seems that lately it's easier to piddle with minutiae than to come face-to-face and heart-to-heart with the dissonance in my heart and mind.

Almost six weeks ago, my dear friend's husband took his life. The aftermath has been a big, boiling pot of emotional gumbo. One minute I miss his contagious laugh and inexhaustible servant heart. The next minute I'm wallowing in a mess of frustration and disbelief at the chaos he had surrounded himself in. I keep listening for his Dakota or Jimmy or Tracer or whatever was his vehicle of the moment to go clunking up the street ... to hear him call my name in passing in the student center ... to see him in his driveway tinkering on yet another student's car. Instead, I'm faced with the realization that he is gone, and his family -- his wife, his daughter, and his son -- are clinging to Hope in the midst of dusty paper piles and greasy tool bins.

I may write more about this later because of the way John's death has slammed into my own personal life change. For example, the day before John died, Allen and I met with the Pastor Search Team from Dunwoody Baptist to review our thoughts on moving to this community and Allen assuming the role of senior pastor. Just two weeks before this, John and Christi spoke at length with four members of the team in a detailed reference call. These members had already recounted their perception of John and how they heard in his report his admiration and respect for Allen's work and friendship. When they heard the news of John's passing, they mourned with us and cried out in prayer for us.

But that same night, they also voted to recommend to the church that Allen Jackson be considered for the senior pastor position at DBC.

More to come....