A friend who coordinates a website for ministry wives asked me to share some of our recent journey with our son in hopes of encouraging one of her readers. Below is my feeble attempt at trying to let another mom know that she is not alone:

Drug addiction found its way into our home several years ago, and we have never been the same. We desperately desired to raise children who loved the Lord with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength; instead, we raised kids who chose to believe the deceiver, and one of them found himself in a place where he couldn't get out.

Even though our journey into drugs and alcohol began when our son was in high school (and thus, a minor), his addiction -- and all the garbage that comes with it -- flourished when he was away at college. After flunking out of school and getting his 2nd DUI, he found himself floundering because he had eliminated many of his more 'attractive' life choices. A sullen, dejected, deceitful addict is a difficult person to live with and love unconditionally. Needless to say, I probably didn't do this very well. But, in God's strength (and His ALONE), I got up every day, remembering that HIS mercies are new every morning, and loved as best I knew how.

So, after years of dreading every phone call (because we had gotten the hospital one, the jail one, and several others related to his poor choices), we got the one telling us our son had passed out at work after using drugs and was being held by a local security force for possible arrest. When it was determined that his physical life was not in danger, we began to deal with the bigger problems. We were told that he would be released to us if we would promise to secure treatment for him in the next day or two. If he was not willing to do this, he would be arrested.

Wow, what a choice! Of course, he wanted to avoid arrest but he was very reluctant -- even at this very low point -- to enter treatment. It seemed that NOW he was concerned about how much it would cost us or what embarrassment it might bring to our family. How crazy is this! We had already endured loss of money and property as a result of his school failures, medical expenses, and even theft. And, by now, we had already dealt with the embarrassment factor: God reminded us this was not about us but about our son.

God opened a door we didn't even know existed: a very affordable, faith-based drug recovery program called Teen Challenge. Our son's journey through this program was everything we had hoped and prayed for, primarily that his spiritual man was revived and he came to agree that he didn't have a drug problem, he had a sin problem, and that falling in love with Jesus and His word was the 'cure.'

Our son worked through each phase of the program for a total of 18 months and, four weeks ago, we attended his Teen Challenge graduation. We're often asked, "Did he go into the program willingly?" Honestly, the answer is no; he begged us not to take him but we knew we didn't have a choice. He had been back home for almost 8 months of 'tough love' before that encounter with the law, and God showed us that we were not going to be the ones to 'fix' the problem. Others ask, "Isn't 12-18 months a long time?" Why, yes, it is, but then again, it's a drop in the bucket of life when you consider we've got our son back. A harder question to grapple with was "Is this his first time in rehab?" I'm not so naive as to think he doesn't continue to struggle with the desire to use drugs. I mean, just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I don't struggle with the desire to eat cake. But I have had to face this part of our journey with faith, believing -- TRULY believing -- that nothing is impossible with God.

Ok, so maybe I'm rambling, but sincerely hoping that some of this is helping. Find me on the message board if you have more questions and feel like you can share more specifics of your situation. It is our family's prayer that what Satan meant for evil is being redeemed for God's greater glory.

I remember feeling very alone in this struggle. It's not that I didn't have friends who cared; it's just that sympathy only goes so far. Plus, I think loneliness is another tactic of the enemy because it's a key step on the road to hopelessness. We've got to have folks reminding us of God's promises so that we don't get sidetracked by the desperateness of our circumstances.

As much as I can, I'm here to whisper God's truth to you today. One verse that I cling to -- then AND now -- is Psalm 27:13 from the NASB: "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

Today, my son is alive, and I am seeing that the Lord's goodness looks different that I expected, but oh how good He is!

Reflecting on LCIW Experience

Gatekeeper: July 2012

Earlier this summer, Dr. Rhonda Kelley and I had the privilege of teaching a weeklong workshop for our seminary program at the Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women. As part of the requirements for the course Public Speaking for Women, the ladies had to give several public presentations, including a testimony and a Bible lesson.

One student started a speech referring to the phrase she’s heard tossed around a lot in Christian circles: “doing life together.” She said that this phrase has a different meaning within the fences of LCIW because, indeed, many of the offenders have a life sentence and thus will spend the rest of their lives in prison.

Perhaps the challenge is to not take so lightly the privilege we have to walk alongside other women in our different seasons of life. Experienced student wives can welcome new families on campus, remembering what it was like to make a home out of a matchbook-sized apartment. Women students who have been in school a year or two (or more!) can advise incoming students on negotiating classes and traffic and humidity. Even fulltime staff women and faculty wives can step into the lives of women all around us and find points of commonality and encouragement.

Most of us won’t be on campus forever (it’s not a life sentence, ladies, even if it feels like it at times), but we can make the most of the relationships God has made available to us. This week marks 18 years for the Jackson family being back on the NOBTS campus. Lots of life has happened in those years, and much of it made richer because of the women I have done – and am doing – life with. Thanks!

P.S. The photo of Dr. Rhonda and I was taken at the end of Day 4 of our week at LCIW. Needless to say, we were tired!

It's Friday and my head is spinning because of the amazing week I've just experienced teaching at Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women along with Dr. Rhonda Kelley. I took the photo above to show the beautiful flowers that grace the prison grounds with the barbed wire fences in the background! The flowers are an analogy for the women we encountered . . . beautiful spirits despite the setting they are in. I don't want to forget them; what a privilege we had in teaching them! Table 1: Michelle (Mouse); Sandra (long hair); Joshie (quiet, short talker); Carlene (anthropology?!) Table 2: Melissa (dramatic); Betty (forgiveness); Angel (quiet, ad libber) Table 3: Brenda (Indian); Mary (artist); Edna (patriotic lifer); Angie (Toastmaster) Table 4: Demetricy (sound tech); Sandra (Starr); Stephanie (monotone); D.D. (pony tail!) Table 5: Helen (dreads); Cindi (travels!); Sabrina (Jaycees Pres); Shelia (short hair); Ashley (curly hair) Table 6: Deidre (well-spoken); Erica (short afro); Carolyn (GED tutor); Jeannette (Deli)

This month I’m digging into the book of Malachi. No, I didn’t just choose it randomly; it’s the focal book of my Sunday morning Bible study group. But I am choosing to make it more than a Sunday morning drive-by. Have you ever read Malachi? If yes, then you already know that it’s not your feel-good, don’t-sweat-the-small-stuff kind of book! Instead, it is full of reminders to the Israelites that they needed to shape up or ship out. If you’re looking for a place to land in your Bible reading this month, I’d love to have you join me in Malachi. As the Lord opens your eyes to His truth, feel free to add comments with your insights and encouragements. Here’s a little something to chew on as you get started. In chapter one, the Lord brings up the issue of “blemished sacrifices,” taking offense to the fact that they probably wouldn’t offer crippled or diseased animals to their governor, so why do they offer these animals to Him, the Lord Almighty? Ouch! What am I offering to the Lord that is so much less than the absolute best He deserves and demands? I better process this carefully so that I am not included in the “cursed is the cheat” admonition, directed to those who have better but give less. Now it’s your turn. What’s God teaching you so far this summer, whether it’s in Malachi or one of the other 65 books He’s pulled together in His bestseller?

Starving SteinMart

"Temptation doesn't take kindly to being starved" (Lysa TerKeurst in Made to Crave). Have you experienced what it's like to starve temptation in any area of your life? How did it make you feel? For Lent this year, I gave up Steinmart. For more than 40 days, I willfully chose not to go to my favorite store in the world because I knew it was a place I wasted time and money, a place I went to for ‘retail therapy,’ a place that tickled my fancy and fed my ‘stuff’ habit. I wanted to use the time I typically spent shopping doing something more productive . . . like finding a place for all the stuff I had already bought at Steinmart and beyond. For the most part, it was not a difficult assignment. I found great pleasure in clearing out a couple of cluttered areas – the corner in my bedroom and the spare room on the second floor. The pleasure was not in the decluttering (the process always wears me out mentally and emotionally as I wrestle with what to do with what I thought I needed so badly that I bought it and brought it home). The pleasure was in seeing a clean spot in each of these rooms. But then I’d get a coupon in the mail, an alert on my smartphone, or an email in my inbox. The temptation started as simply as that. The higher the discount, the greater the temptation. But then I’d look at that cleaned out corner and smile. Nope, not going back there today. Can’t say ‘ever’ because I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but that day I didn’t go to Steinmart. As a matter of fact, I threw away the coupon, ignored the alert, and deleted the email. I focused on the end goal rather than the instant gratification. Fast forward to today and relating this to food issues (focus of Made to Crave). I love to eat. It is my sustenance, my comfort, my entertainment, my friend. It is to me all the things I say it shouldn’t be because I know in my head that food is fuel, and I really only need a limited amount of fuel to accomplish the tasks I have before me each day. And yet I eat. Starving physical temptations is difficult for me. I need to stay focused on the end goal and not be so caught up on instant gratification. Stay tuned. I've got a lifetime to work on this!

Damage, Danger, and Deception

A friend recently shared how she had to have some trees removed from her backyard due to damage from Hurricane Gustav. She didn’t have them removed back in 2008 right after Gustav blew through Southeast Louisiana; she had them removed just a few weeks ago.

Why the delay? In her words, “we put the removal process off as long as we could because of the pleasure of beauty and shade the trees brought to our yard.” Sure, if the roots had been exposed like the photo above, it would have been obvious that she needed to do something right away. But instead, it was easy to ignore because the roots were still in the ground. Even though there was always the danger that the damaged roots would give way and the tree could fall and hurt someone or something, it was easier to put it off. Removal required effort and change.

This friend got me thinking as she compared this to the danger of habitual sin in our lives . . . something that brings us pleasure but we forget that this pleasure is a deception and danger (think Genesis 3, Eve, a piece of fruit, and a lying serpent).

What’s the damaged “tree” in your life that needs to be removed? Don’t expect the process to be easy . . . if it was, you would have cut it out already. What you can expect is for the process to be challenging and the results to be rewarding. Sure, things will look different once the damaged “tree” is gone but sometimes – most of the time – different is good. Very good.

Really, God, the Desert Road?

I was doing a study on Moses and the Israelites (think Ex. 13 and Heb. 11) and was struck by Moses' report in verses 17 and 18: "When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, 'If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.' So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea."

Isn't that amazing? When we are faced with what we think is a challenging (maybe even terrifying) situation, we can know that God has weighed the options for us and decided THIS is the road we need to take -- this is the road that stretches our faith but doesn't push us to the point of 'changing our minds'!

The Israelites still struggled with fear, even on this supposedly easier path (see Ex. 14:10-12) but they followed Moses into the Red Sea and experienced the provision of God in a way that they may not have known otherwise.

However, knowing the rest of the Israelites’ story provides a warning: just because we've experienced a God-sized miracle once doesn't guarantee that we won't doubt or fret ever again. But that's the subject of another blog!