What's your favorite rom-com?

Romantic comedies ... everybody loves 'em. Well, maybe not everybody (my husband much prefers westerns and James Bond!) So what's your favorite rom-com? "Sleepless in Seattle"? "You've Got Mail"? The author of our book mentioned that "Titantic" was the number one grossing romantic drama of all time (at least so far). Jen Wilkin then compared Jack and Rose's lusty love story to a couple in Dallas, Texas that, at the writing of the book, was celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary. Talk about lasting love. Curious, I goggled their names -- Jack and Lucille Cannon -- and found the news story featuring their celebration: click here for a sweet story about a couple in their 90s whose love hasn't been sensational, just steady and supportive.

Ah, love, so complicated and multi-faceted. We look for examples around us but everyone else's love story seems better than ours. OR we confuse "love" for warm feelings and wonder why we don't "feel" fulfilled.

I'm so thankful we have God's Word and Jesus' example to help clear away the fog of what love truly is.

Like, Love, or Lust

Part of the issue with understanding love is that we have just one word in the English language for LOVE but, in the Greek, there are at least 4 (yep, take a minute to google and you may find more!).

Eros: romantic, sensual, even sexual love (think 'erotic')

Philia (or phileo): brotherly, affectionate love; feelings; bonds formed through shared experience (used 54 times in the NT)

Storge:Parent's love for child

Agape: Selfless, unconditional love; "act of the will;" a love that acts; choosing; intellect; looking out for the interests of the one being loved (Rom. 5:8; John 13:35); used 259 times in the NT ... remember the importance of repetition from last week? Yep, this should get our attention!

This week's chapter we're looking at in In His Image is "God Most Loving." Our challenge is the call to obedience in this. In keeping with our overarching questions: "What is the will of God in your life" related to THIS characteristic? "To love as you have been loved" (42).

How Are We Going to Get There?

Let's start by thinking through this quote from p. 38:

Unless we love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, we will love ourselves and our neighbors inadequately. RIGHT LOVE of GOD is what enables right love of self and others."

God is LOVE. It is WHO He is. Remember last week? Nothing you can do can make Him stop loving you. Nothing you can do can make Him love you more. Jesus loves you (sing through the first verse and chorus to remind yourself:  Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me; yes, Jesus loves me; yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.)

The question really comes down to DO YOU LOVE HIM RIGHTLY? Sure, we've been commanded to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, but do you? Is there evidence in your life ...

• not just the cross around your neck
• what about the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control?
• what about holy living?
• what about holy talking?

Is He "rubbing off" on you?

Also on p. 38, Jen Wilkin writes,

A deficit in our love of neighbor always points to a deficit in our love of God. We must first focus on loving God rightly.

This reminds me of John's words in 1 John 4:7-8:

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 

John's words are very direct ... he cuts to the chase ... God loves us so we need to love one another. You don't love? Then perhaps you don't know God! Ouch!

But, John, you don't know my challenges and my difficult person ....

Jen Wilkin addresses this on p. 42:

"If love is an act of the will -- not motivated by need, not measuring worth, not requiring reciprocity -- then there is no such category as unlovable."

Let that sink in and then remember Rom. 5:8 again: While we were STILL sinners, Christ died for us.
While we were STILL unlovable ... self-centered ... not caring about Him or His Word, He died for us. He 'agaped' us ... dying was an "act of His will" ... He chose to be our sacrifice so that we could be restored to relationship with God His Father!

1 Corinthians 13: The Love Chapter
Since we're exploring what it's going to take for us "to love as we have been loved," it's important that we take a trip to 1 Corinthians 13 to be reminded of the Apostle Paul's definition of love ... what  it is and what it's not. And lest we get distracted by his poetic words and forget that he's writing this letter to a church that's needing a course correction due to big heads and worldly influence, remember that chapter 13 falls right in the middle of Paul's discussion of spiritual gifts. He's emphasizing in a number of ways that LOVE, not spiritual gifts, is what's most important.

Take a minute to read the chapter ... maybe even outloud. (Click here for the NIV.)

Did you hear it? Love is more important than speaking well, prophesying well, or giving well. All of these gifts are good but, if done without love, you're wasting your time because it's not pointing people to Jesus. Of course, this makes me wonder how this translates to what I do on a regular basis -- both in academics and at church. Am I teaching in love? Here's how Jim Fowler put it:

1 Corinthians 13 for Teachers ¹ If I teach with the best educational techniques, and provide stimulating and motivational lessons, but have not love, I am but a time-wasting information processor. ² If I spend hours preparing my lesson plans with the clearest instructional objectives, but have not love, I am just an over-organized ideologue. ³ If I utilize the most eye-catching visual aids and the latest classroom technology, but have not love, I am just a high-tech visionary. ⁴ A loving teacher is kind and patient with every student, regards each student as an important individual, and treats their personal problems with confidence.
 ⁵ A loving teacher does not merely talk at, but relates to, the students, and provides a exemplary model of life to those in the classroom.
 ⁶ A teacher’s love is not condescending, does not play favorites,does not gossip, does not publicly humiliate, is not easily agitated or discouraged, and does not blow-up or give-up on misbehaving students. ^7-8a A teacher’s love bears the responsibility of instruction, believes that student’s minds should not be wasted, hopes that every student will achieve their potential, and endures all disturbances in the process. ^8b-12 The latest text-books will soon be out-of-date. Contemporary teaching methods will become outmoded. Educational technology is obsolete before we know it, but a loving teacher can affect a student’s life forever.
 ¹³ Now abideth preparation, instruction, and love. But the greatest of these is a teacher’s love that seeks the highest good of the students.

I'd encourage you to try this yourself with your vocation or hobby or volunteer service ... consider what it is you do, what it comes across as without love, what love is -- and is not -- in this context, and so on. You can use the template below if it helps:

¹ If I _____________________________________________ but do not have love, I am only ____________________________________________________________________________.

² If I _____________________________________________ and if I ___________________ ___________________________, but have not love, I am just ________________________.

³ If I _____________________________________________ and _____________________ ________________________, but have not love, I am just __________________________.

^4-5 In my setting, love is _______________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________.

⁶ In my setting, love is not _____________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

⁷ In my setting, love always ____________________________________________________.

^8-12 ________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

¹³ And now these three remain, ____________________, ___________________________,

and love. But the greatest of these is love.

One Last Thing

Before I wrap up this week, I want to go back to a quote on page 40 in In His Image that really grabbed my attention:

When God acts in ways we perceive to be unloving, the problem is not with HIS actions but with OUR limited perspective.

As we're challenged to love others as we are loved, we're taken back to the reminder that our love for others hinges on how we love Him. So, in light of this quote, it begs the following questions:

• Do you trust Him enough to love Him?
• Do you love Him enough to trust Him?

In review, as we consider what God's will is for our lives -- or in keeping with the premise of this book of reflecting the image of the One who created us -- we have learned that we are to be holy as God is holy AND to love as we have been loved.

That'll keep us busy for this week!