Remember the movie "Facing the Giants"? Football team and coach had some personal and corporate issues to work through. Great inspirational flick. Watched it several times way back when; revisited it again yesterday during a student presentation in class "Intentional Sports Ministry."
What I didn't expect during yesterday's "re-visit" was a completely different filter during the 'death crawl' scene. [See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHPhVTw3YgM&feature=related if you need a refresher.] Basically, Brock -- a rowdy team leader -- expresses a lack of confidence in his team's ability to overcome an upcoming opponent: "They're stronger than we are." The coach decides to use one of the least liked drills as an object lesson.
Brock is chosen to do the death crawl again (the team had just finished doing it together), and this time coach says "I want to see your absolute best." Brock questions what coach is asking regarding distance: "the 30?" "I can do the 50 with no one on my back." Coach responds that he thinks Brock can do the 50 WITH Jeremy on his back but, even if he can't, he challenges him to his very best . . . and then he blindfolds him. Fast forward to Brock digging in and doing what he can, coach beside him all the way, encouraging him.
Brock: "Am I at the 20 yet?" Coach: "Forget the 20. You give me your best. Your very best. Your very best. Keep moving, Brock." The harder it gets, the closer the coach gets down, the louder he yells. "Don't quit. Keep thriving. Your very best."
Brock: "It hurts. It hurts." Coach: "Give me more. You're Brock Kelly. You don't quit. Don't quit. Don't quit." Finally, Brock collapses: "Am I at the 50? It must be the 50." Coach: "Look up, Brock. You're in the end zone. [pause] You're the most influential player on this team; if you walk around defeated, so will they. Don't tell me you can't give me more than what I've been seeing...."
I thought back to being in the throes of Aaron's addiction last year. Praying but seeing nothing change. Searching the Word, clinging to promises, but seeing nothing change. It was so hard to keep going, to not give up. But, instead of hiding under the covers, I kept getting up each day, doing the things God had equipped me to do, going to the places He had invited me to go, speaking the words He had woven together for me to say. Did I feel like it? No! Was I compelled? Yes!
As I watched that video, I realized in retrospect WHY I didn't give up, WHY I kept getting up each day, doing things, going places, speaking words . . . because the Coach was in my face, in my ear, telling me to keep going, to give Him my best. "Don't quit. Don't quit. Give me more. You're my daughter. You don't quit."
Thankful for the darkness of the classroom, I teared up in that holy moment, thankful for a quick glimpse at that time of spiritual warfare that had ended in God's glory.
This weekend marks SEVEN months that Aaron has been in a recovery situation. I choose to celebrate the distance from where we have come and what God has accomplished in Aaron. Am I fearful at times of the future? Sure, I'm human but I also try to learn from the past and am confident that He who began a good work in me -- and in Aaron -- will 'perfect' it in the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6)
I don't look forward to any future 'death crawl' experiences. But I'm sure they'll come so I'm trying to work out my spiritual muscles regularly. I want to be prepared: strong in the Lord, confident in His ways and plans, humble in my spirit, giving my best. And not quitting.
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