Sunday, February 11, 2018

Taming the Tongue

I wish everyone could have a "Jay Wolf" in their lives.

In this week's study, Poppy asked, "What negative or positive words have had a lasting impact on your life?" Being a glass-half-full person, I immediately thought of Jay Wolf and the positive words he spoke into the life of an almost-21-year-old during the summer of 1980.

I was a summer intern at Memorial Baptist Church in Metairie, Louisiana, and he was my "boss." As youth minister, Jay hired me to work alongside Kenny Culotta for 10 weeks in a summer that included a lot of pool parties and Bible studies as well as the obligatory mission trip and summer camp. Such good stuff! While I had been working with youth through the Youth Life ministry in Baton Rouge for the previous three years, this summer experience escalated my love for pouring into young people with the promises from God's word.

After each gathering (whether big or small), Jay always had a word of encouragement for me. Perhaps he saw the self-doubt that raged in my insecurity during those days. Or perhaps he is an amazingly encouraging person and always chose the route of "build up" and "benefit" that Ephesians 4:29 talks of. Either way, if you look up the word "encourager" in the dictionary, Jay's picture will be right there! He allowed his words to be used for good.

That's what James was wanting to highlight in his words on "the tongue" ... lots of potential for good and not-so-good!

What do we know about James? "It has been believed, since at least the third century, that the author of this book is James, the brother of Jesus. James probably wrote his letter to Jewish believers between A.D. 45-50. These early Christians has fled Jerusalem after persecution erupted following the killing of Stephen, which left them without direct contact with the apostles. Reports of their difficulties and struggles reached James in Jerusalem, and he responded as their pastor, urging them to make needed changes in both their personal lives and corporate relationships" (Speaking Wisely, 57).

In the first chapter, James introduces some thoughts on "the tongue" in verses 19-22 and 26, setting the stage for what he wants to say later. But for now, he points out that what it's better to listen than to jump to conclusions by talking and getting angry. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Interesting that he throws in the phrase "humbly accept the word planted in you;" in other words, your opinion isn't the most important thing ... God's is.

In 1:26, James boldly points out, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." Ouch! Strong words!

James jumps back on the subject in chapter 3 with a little more direction. Consider these points borrowed from Brent Alderman of the Capitol Commission:
  • ACCOUNTABLE POSITION
In verse 1, we see a simple but strong warning to teachers. Be careful what you wish for: with privilege comes responsibility. We are accountable for what we say, for what we teach. Just the sheer quantity of our words can trip us up at times. In Mt. 12:36-37, Jesus said, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Paul said it a little differently to Timothy in 2 Tim. 2:15, "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth."

But not just teachers are accountable.
  • COMMON PROBLEM
See it verse 2? We ALL stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

So what does "perfect" mean in this context? James says we ALL stumble, so it can't be perfect like we typically think of perfect. Consider the goal of every believer ... spiritual maturity. Paul talks about it in Ephesians 4 as what we're striving for ... in Philippians 1, he points out that this "perfection" won't be achieved until the day of Christ Jesus.

Winston Churchill said, "We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out." 

  • UNEXPECTED POWER
In verses 6-8, James describes the power of the tongue ... with potential for great devastation if not tamed. One commentator said the tongue has "inordinate influence for being such a small part of the body." James effectively used the metaphors of a bit in a horse's mouth, a rudder on a ship, and a spark to start a fire to show the huge impact of a small thing.

Anyone who has been horseback riding, especially as an amateur like me, appreciates the role of the bit in the horse's mouth. We may fancy ourselves cowboys, yelling things like "giddy-up" and "whoa," but it's really the tug on the reins that directs the bit that makes the horse submit to the rider.

Not being much of a sailor myself, I conjure up images of nautical calamities that could possibly have been avoided or minimized if someone were at the helm of the ship, looking ahead for danger and guiding the boat's direction. The Titanic is the most notable (more because of the movie) but I also think of the freighter that rammed into the Riverwalk in New Orleans a bunch of years ago because the captain was asleep and, by the time he realized he was off-course, it was too late to correct.

Forest fires in California, Colorado, and even Tennessee are huge examples of the devastating consequences of neglected sparks left accidentally (and sometimes intentionally). One writer described those who don't tame the tongue as "spiritual arsonists, lighting careless fires that cause widespread destruction."
  • HYPOCRITICAL PATTERN
Mary Kassian in Conversation Peace explained that "in the ancient world, swords were the most common weapons of war. The Bible tells us that during war, the Hebrews would make swords from their plowshares (Joel 3:10). A plowshare is the cutting edge of  plow -- the agricultural tool that cuts furrows in the soil and prepares the ground for planting. The word plow literally means 'to open up the soil.' ...The edge of the plow cuts through the ground like a rudder cuts through the water. It was this cutting edge that the Hebrews used to make swords. When peace returned, the Hebrews hammered the swords back into plows (Isa. 2:4; Mic. 4:3). The edge that killed the enemy in times of war was the same edge that, in times of peace, provided the Hebrew community with food. The sharp edge had two functions" (14).

In James 3:9-12, the writer points out that our tongue can also have two functions but not as purposeful as the plowshare: praising and cursing. His brother Jesus basically called out the Pharisees for this in Mt. 12:34, "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."

It is this hypocritical pattern that gets us in trouble over and over. Alderman noted, "If we have a desire for God and his ways, we will avoid speaking in a way that betrays our faith. Hearts changed by the gospel will have observable fruit (including words) that is not hypocritical.... The heart is the key."

How important it is to know -- no, not just know but to process -- the potential we have for both using our tongue for good or for evil. What filters will we put in place to keep this from being our downfall time and time again? Poppy's questions should get us thinking:
  • Why are praising God and cursing man incompatible for Christians?
  • In what everyday circumstances might you be provoked to curse someone?
  • When you are tempted to react this way, what changes in your thought patterns, attitudes, or behavior would help you resist?
Back to Conversation Peace (28-29):

"The mark of a good captain is to identify when the vessel is off course and make adjustments. In identifying the areas in which your speech needs adjustments, you are taking the first step toward getting back on course.

"If you look at a Canadian dime, you will find an image of Canada's most famous sailing vessel, the Bluenose. The Bluenose was strongly constructed to weather the rigorous challenges of North Atlantic fishing, but it was also built for speed. In 1921, she captured the International Fishermen's Trophy in a fierce competition between the best schooners in the word. She remained undefeated throughout her eighteen-year career.

"The captain of the Bluenose faced the same challenges of every seaman: wind, waves, squalls, storms. sandbars, reefs, and treacherous rocky shorelines. But he knew how to harness the Power of Navigation to guide his ship to victory. If you follow God's plan for your speech, you, too, will weather the rigorous challenges of life's sea, harness the Power of Navigation, and cross the finish line in victory."





Thursday, February 1, 2018

A Busy Two Years

Has it really been two years since I uploaded a post? That's not good. So much has happened. So much swirls in my brain. Why am I not writing it down here? I've written some in my "Today is Going to Be a Great Day" journal but I want to do better posting here, when appropriate.

I came online to begin capturing thoughts from my new Disciple U Bible Study, "Speaking Wisely." We're using Poppy Smith's book of this title and are excited (and nervous) about working through this topic!

Week One (January 24 ... which we started a week late due to SNOW days!): Introduction

I set up a window on the stool as a prop to go with introductory statement in the book: "Words are like windows, giving others a glimpse into your heart. Words express who you really are, what you think, and what you cherish. They reveal your joys, heartaches, attitudes, and beliefs. Based on what you say and how you say it, others can sense whether you are a safe, loving, and supportive person, someone they can trust to speak wisely to them and about them. The opposite is also true" (p. 1).

WHY THIS STUDY?

1. Coming out of the Personal Holiness study

Last semester we worked through Rhonda Kelley's study on Personal Holiness. It was a tremendous overview of how God is calling us out to be holy just as He is holy. It seems that on the holiness journey, it's our words that trip us up more often than we expect. And according to Luke 6:43-45, "No good fruit bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.... The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart.... For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." If our words are reactionary, unnecessary, defensive, or offensive, what is this saying about our hearts?

2. Coming into a year of living out our Pastor's challenge to love God, love people, make disciples, and make a difference.

Love God: How are our words related to loving God? Is He changing our speech? Are we letting Him? Does our speech reflected our hearts for God?

Love people: What does this look like? How do we love people with our words? Jack Hudson posted a significant story on his Facebook page on January 15 that begins with the quote "A shut mouth gathers no foot."

A lady tells of a lesson her mother once taught her. One day, when this lady was about eight years old, she was playing outside next to an open window. Inside a neighbor was confiding a personal problem to her mother. After the neighbor had gone, the mother realized that her little girl had heard everything that had been said. She called her daughter in and said, "If our neighbor had left her purse here today, would we give it to anyone else?" "Of course not," the little girl said.

Her mother went on, "Our neighbor left something more precious than her pocketbook today. She left a story that could make many people unhappy. That story is not ours to give to anyone. It is still hers, even though she left it here. So we shall not give it to anyone. Do you understand?" The little girl did. And from that day on, whenever a friend would share a confidence or even engage in careless gossip, she considered what they said to be their personal property and not hers to give to anyone else.

This old saying bears great truth: "If you don't have something good to say about someone or something, don't say anything at all." Proverbs 13:3 "He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction."

Make disciples: What does this look like? How can our words 'make disciples'? The most obvious answer is that we can use our words for God's good ... pointing others to the cross.

I was most impressed with a video my friend Lindsay Venters posted that shows a young girl sharing her faith using a three-circles strategy: https://www.facebook.com/23415837/videos/10108658727492725/. People, this is so impressive. Sure, she's memorized a witnessing plan but she's doing more than memorizing. She's sharing it. This video has over 2,000 views (probably half from her parents and/or church, but still!). Do you know how to share your faith as articulately as this child? If not, then join me in getting better at using words to make disciples!

Make a difference: The world is full of enough trash talk. It needs to hear words with a positive difference. I love this story about "being a Doris." (http://www.incourage.me/2018/01/be-a-doris.html) Synopsis of the story: Doris always answered the phone -- no matter who was calling because, well, she didn't know who was calling with no caller ID back in the 1980s -- "God loves you, This is Doris." Doris used her words to remind people they were treasured by God and who doesn't need that?

3. How are we going to do this?


In a recent reading of the first part of Psalm 119, I was reminded that the only way to get this "speaking wisely" is to be in the WORD. Living the Word. Obeying the Word. Speaking the Word. Not because it comes naturally but because I intentionally choose it. Best part is I don't have to make it up as I go along. I just need to follow what it says. That's the key to the "blessed" life.

Communication process is tricky. There's a sender encoding a message and receiver decoding a message. Best case scenario is that the message is heard as intended and feedback is given to confirm this. Of course, life is full of muddled scenarios instead of best case ones, so we've got to keep learning how to use our words carefully and purposefully. Thank the Lord for this study!

During the course of this semester, we'll attempt ...
  • to be women whose words "build up" and "benefit" others (try to memorize Ephesians 4:29 in your favorite translation).
  • to be women whose words "window" the heart of God, reflecting the good things stored in our hearts (Luke 6:23)
  • to live "blessed" lives (as described in Psalm 119).
Finally, check out the song "Words" by Hawk Nelson ... he nails the dichotomy of words and the choices we have to make as we use them! https://youtu.be/anVweXDcxhA

"Words"
They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king

They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
(Speak over the fear)
God, Your voice is the only thing
We need to hear
(We need to hear)

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of Your grace
(Sound like Your grace)
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

I wanna speak Your love
Not just another noise
Oh, I wanna be Your light
I wanna be Your voice

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of Your grace
(Sound like Your grace)
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out

I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You