I was reading in Ephesians 5 today about putting on the armor of God (as part of Day 79 in Beth Moore's Paul: 90 Days on His Journey of Faith) and I got tickled with the word picture that came to mind with verse 14 "Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist...." OK, so I know Paul couldn't have had any foreknowledge about our culture's saggy pants epidemic but doesn't it fit? You don't tighten your belt (or heaven's forbid, don't wear one), then you end up showing a little bit more than the rest of us want or need to see. As we put on the belt of truth, others see of us what is wholesome and good and uplifting. When we don't and our lies are revealed, it's like we're standing there with our pants down.

I did a quick google search of 'sagging pants' images and, trust me, there are a lot out there. But I chose this one because of the statement: We are better than this. Yes, we have been saved from eternal death and, in response, we can live better than this. Honestly, I prefer to not see anybody's underwear when they're walking down the street but what upsets me and disappoints me more is a lack of moral integrity that compromises truth for convenience or self-promotion.

I'd like to think I'm a truth-teller because of my relationship with Jesus Christ -- who is the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life -- but I realize that I still need to put on the belt of Truth so that I can "live free of secreat areas of hypocrisy" because "Satan loves to blackmail believers who have a secret they want to keep" (BM, p. 375).

Thinking Out Loud

I want to think out loud for a few moments. I'm teaching Sunday School (ok, sorry, new terminology: Bible Study Ministry) tomorrow, and I'm processing the take-aways from a familiar story.

We'll be in Luke 5 where Jesus is teaching in a home with Pharisees and other teachers present. Apparently it's so crowded that some folks who want to get their friend in to see Jesus come up with a rather innovative way to break through the crowd: from the roof! Jesus is impressed and points out that, because of their collective faith, the paralytic's sins are forgiven.

Wait a minute, Jesus, that wasn't the point of their over-the-top effort. Plus it highly offended the religious leaders in the house. Jesus, of course, knew that and used it as an opportunity to challenge them to a heart check and, for good measure, offered Mr. Paralytic physical healing as well. Whoop! Whoop! Lots of praising and happy dances all around!

Then, instead of heading to the Jerusalem Starbucks for a coffee break, he moves into town where he encounters Levi, a tax collector, and invites him on the ride of a lifetime. Levi signs on, leaves the money business, and follows Jesus. In celebration, he throws a party, invites all his friends, and includes Jesus as the guest of honor. Jesus comes and, as a result, gets the Pharisee guys even more frustrated with Him. What's a Savior to do? Just what Jesus did . . . focus on His purpose for being around and doing what He was sent to earth to do!

OK, so that's the synopsis . . . but what will make it come alive for college students? For starters, the Holy Spirit! It's up to You to bring Your Word to life so that all who read it, including and especially young adults, can find direction and purpose for their lives.

What else? How about the friends' "Whatever it takes" attitude? How many times do I rethink what God might have been directing me to do because the situation is a little too hard? I pray for a passion so great that I will move ahead in such a way that I don't see obstacles, just opportunities.

What about the order of Jesus' healing: first, his sins; then, his body? Jesus knew the point of the paralytic's greatest need and started there. Sometimes I get distracted by the "obvious" when God's up to something so much deeper. Oh, that I can be that attuned to His ways!

I can't forget His disregard for the Pharisees' criticisms. He certainly heard their questions. He couldn't miss their displeasure. Shouldn't their use of the word "blasphemy" (an accusation that could result in death) have toned Him down just a bit? Nope. It didn't. Jesus was on a roll with heavenly consequences so He kept right on doing His thing, not theirs . . . whether it was forgiving sin, receiving the praise of grateful people, or dining with sinners.

Speaking of the bit about dining with sinners, how cool is it that Levi left behind a very lucrative (though unpopular-with-the-people occupation) to follow Jesus! And then he threw a party to celebrate, inviting a bunch of other tax collectors and 'sinners' so they could have a chance at following Jesus too. Interesting that the story doesn't tell us whether they did or not, which is okay with me because sometimes I just need to know that someone tried something for Jesus, not that it had huge success.

Lord, Your Word speaks for itself. I hope I don't get in the way tomorrow. I pray those students get a good night's sleep and will be ready to dig deeper into a familiar story with some challenging sidebars. Who knows? Maybe we'll be celebrating a new Jesus follower after the story is explored! Now, that's worth whooping over!

Re-facing Your Giants

Remember the movie "Facing the Giants"? Football team and coach had some personal and corporate issues to work through. Great inspirational flick. Watched it several times way back when; revisited it again yesterday during a student presentation in class "Intentional Sports Ministry."

What I didn't expect during yesterday's "re-visit" was a completely different filter during the 'death crawl' scene. [See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHPhVTw3YgM&feature=related if you need a refresher.] Basically, Brock -- a rowdy team leader -- expresses a lack of confidence in his team's ability to overcome an upcoming opponent: "They're stronger than we are." The coach decides to use one of the least liked drills as an object lesson.

Brock is chosen to do the death crawl again (the team had just finished doing it together), and this time coach says "I want to see your absolute best." Brock questions what coach is asking regarding distance: "the 30?" "I can do the 50 with no one on my back." Coach responds that he thinks Brock can do the 50 WITH Jeremy on his back but, even if he can't, he challenges him to his very best . . . and then he blindfolds him. Fast forward to Brock digging in and doing what he can, coach beside him all the way, encouraging him.

Brock: "Am I at the 20 yet?" Coach: "Forget the 20. You give me your best. Your very best. Your very best. Keep moving, Brock." The harder it gets, the closer the coach gets down, the louder he yells. "Don't quit. Keep thriving. Your very best."

Brock: "It hurts. It hurts." Coach: "Give me more. You're Brock Kelly. You don't quit. Don't quit. Don't quit." Finally, Brock collapses: "Am I at the 50? It must be the 50." Coach: "Look up, Brock. You're in the end zone. [pause] You're the most influential player on this team; if you walk around defeated, so will they. Don't tell me you can't give me more than what I've been seeing...."

I thought back to being in the throes of Aaron's addiction last year. Praying but seeing nothing change. Searching the Word, clinging to promises, but seeing nothing change. It was so hard to keep going, to not give up. But, instead of hiding under the covers, I kept getting up each day, doing the things God had equipped me to do, going to the places He had invited me to go, speaking the words He had woven together for me to say. Did I feel like it? No! Was I compelled? Yes!

As I watched that video, I realized in retrospect WHY I didn't give up, WHY I kept getting up each day, doing things, going places, speaking words . . . because the Coach was in my face, in my ear, telling me to keep going, to give Him my best. "Don't quit. Don't quit. Give me more. You're my daughter. You don't quit."

Thankful for the darkness of the classroom, I teared up in that holy moment, thankful for a quick glimpse at that time of spiritual warfare that had ended in God's glory.

This weekend marks SEVEN months that Aaron has been in a recovery situation. I choose to celebrate the distance from where we have come and what God has accomplished in Aaron. Am I fearful at times of the future? Sure, I'm human but I also try to learn from the past and am confident that He who began a good work in me -- and in Aaron -- will 'perfect' it in the day of Christ Jesus (Phil. 1:6)

I don't look forward to any future 'death crawl' experiences. But I'm sure they'll come so I'm trying to work out my spiritual muscles regularly. I want to be prepared: strong in the Lord, confident in His ways and plans, humble in my spirit, giving my best. And not quitting.

Six years

Today marks six years since our Katrina experience.

During the storm, we hunkered down with new friends in Prairieville, playing Scrabble and snacking the time away. How incredulous that, when we found out we couldn't go home, these friends opened their doors to us for five more weeks until we could secure our own housing!

Even 'our own housing' came as a miracle. We looked at apartments, house rentals, house sales, even double-wide trailers. How amazed we were when we got a call from a friend of a friend who knew of a house that had been under contract before the storm but the sale had fallen through. Were we interested in taking a look? Um, YES! Having a home base during the craziness of those times was definitely a gift from God.

Oh, I could go on and on, and I wish I could make time to detail a few more examples but, suffice it to say for now, that the longest year of my life, displaced from normalcy, reaped a deeper trust in my God as provider, sustainer, and strong foundation.

He knew I would need to know Him in this way as I headed into parenting headstrong teenagers. But that's the subject of another blog.

Changing Lives

I had two glimpses into changing lives today, and I don't want to forget.

I spent the afternoon at Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women, celebrating with 20 women who finished their first semester in the new Christian Ministry certificate program that NOBTS is offering there. From the surface, it could have looked like the end of any semester with any group of women. But considering the setting, the surface doesn't begin to tell the story.

The smiles were broader. The encouragement more sincere. The sense of accomplishment brightened the room. These ladies are all offenders with sentences of 15 years or more. Let that sink in. For the next 15 years and beyond, they will live, breathe, and age behind the walls of LCIW. No paroles. No pardons. Incarceration. In 15 years, I have no idea of what turns my life will have taken. But these ladies have one certainty: they will be imprisoned.

But despite what seems like such a hopeless situation and setting, they smiled broadly, encouraged deeply, and celebrated proudly that they had finished FOUR seminary classes (six hours) on their way to this 18-hour certificate . . . which is merely the first step to the Associates degree . . . and then on to the Bachelors.

To close the celebration, we stood in a circle -- 20 students, 3 teachers, Rhonda, and me -- to pray. We started with Debi Sharkey and went around the entire circle with all but one lady praying. Two prayers stood out to me. The one that thanked God for the people who laid the groundwork for this program to happen. And the one that asked God to continue renewing their minds as they studied and learned. Changing lives. Not the end result, but an adventure in progress.

Second thing was a phone call from Aaron tonight, telling us that he shared his testimony with the youth group at South Parkway tonight. We asked him what he shared. He told them he came from the most church-y background you could come from, but he still took the easy way out. He said taking drugs and selling drugs is the easy way, but that it's hard to live out the Bible. He challenged them to not take the easy way. Yes, THIS is a life that is changing.

On Sunday he repeated what he had told me before . . . that when he seeks after God and keeps this relationship the main thing, life comes together in a good way. But when he leaves God out of things, he messes up . . . in school, with drugs, etc. He called what he is learning at Teen Challenge "a cure." He pointed out that he is learning how to live . . . more than just learning how to fight the temptations of drugs and alcohol (which he said AA does) . . . he is learning how to really live.

11 weeks last Saturday. I will celebrate this changing life as well!

'Down' doesn't mean 'out'

I want to write this down before I forget it . . . before I forget how encouraged I was on Tuesday when Shaun and Ken were among the ten or so honored during the NOBTS Celebration of Excellence. Two men who have publicly shared of previous drug addictions that passionately defined their pasts but, once behind them, drove them to a different type of excellence. Both of these men desire to serve God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength. And God honored them in return.

God, thanks for this real life object lesson of the way you make all things new. Sometimes I get scared that this time in TC is just a 'time out' for SAJ, and not a real life change. I get scared because so many just can't leave their addictions behind despite the best intentions. I get scared because it's so difficult for him to submit to the authority of the place and the program. I get scared because I've been disappointed so many times before.

I imagine that Shaun's family was scared he wouldn't succeed at recovery. Or maybe that Ken would fall back into his old ways. But they haven't. Instead, they've turned their eyes toward the goal of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

SAJ can too. Because 'down' doesn't mean 'out.'

I started Lent before Lent

Something needed to change. We couldn't keep going the way we were, and yet we felt powerless to force a change because it wasn't us that was causing the problems.

The change came suddenly. Unexpectedly. And not because we did anything. He made the wrong choice at the wrong time, and change had to happen. We moved quickly, offered the opportunity for the path for a new start, and drove away.

In my heart, I knew that he would miss his old lifestyle. Not just miss it, he would crave it. He would have desires so deep that it might tempt him to walk away from the positive outcomes that lay ahead. Change is never easy.

So I've decided to make a change as well. I wanted to feel what it was like to want something that, in moderation, isn't such a bad thing but, to be honest, it's really never a good thing. It just is. Plus I'm not all that good with moderation. I'm one of those folks who really enjoys what I enjoy.

But that night I told God I would give Him this thing in my life. I'm choosing to abstain. And when I'm tempted -- and boy, have I been tempted -- I pray. I pray for strength to be satisfied with an alternative or with nothing. I pray for my son who must be struggling with his own version of abstinence. I pray that God would fill my empty places that reach for comfort in things besides Him. I pray.

Sure, I miss it. At times, I crave it. But, Lord, help me to learn what it means to fill those cravings with You . . . Your word . . . Your truth.

When is it hardest? I don't know. Today at the wedding reception when it's socially acceptable. But other times it's when I'm home alone. It was tough during king cake season. And now during Girl Scout cookie season. But there's always a season, always an excuse. And the question I'm faced with most fiercely is what matters more? instant gratification vs. delayed, or better yet, a more fulfilling satisfaction?

So, it's Lent. This process started a couple of weeks before Lent, and may go a ways after. But for now, I 'fast.' I understand the desire for something that has no lasting benefit for my soul or body; I want to know the desire for that which changes me for the better, for eternity.

I'll keep you posted.